


Birds Can Be The Universal Pet

by Manateequeem



Series: Urbosa And Zelda Interfere With Grocery Store Workers Far Too Much [2]
Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Alcohol, As everyone else spells it, Humor, Humour, M/M, My odd take at humour, Pining, Revali gets drunk, everyone is drunk, or - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-15 05:00:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10550476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manateequeem/pseuds/Manateequeem
Summary: Revali gets drunk and wants to get into Link's pants.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, as promised, I wrote the fic where Revali is drunk and says some things.
> 
> To be read after Disarming
> 
> I don't think you have to, but hey, context is fun
> 
> Anyway, enjoy this piece which I wrote while listening to the SpongeBob soundtrack
> 
>  
> 
> Also, please praise me for the word count, because I've never been more proud in my trashy meme filled life

“Ughh, why is he so fucking perfect.” Revali sobbed into his drink while Urbosa patted his back encouragingly.

  
“You know, I think we should get you home now. He’ll notice you staring pretty soon.”

Urbosa, ever the voice of reason attempted to help her friend up but he refused, because when he said he was just a bit tipsy, he was full on drunk.

  
“No, I’m fine here,” he slurred, still eying Link, “and I want him to notice me staring! He just won’t get the damn message!”

  
Link was sitting in the opposite end of the bar, talking to Sidon about one thing or the other and Revali couldn’t help but stare at him with wide eyes. He cracked a smile so easily and Revali wanted nothing more than to get with him. Ah, the struggles of his adult life.

  
“Well, you haven’t made a move,” Zelda spoke, lifting one finger up in some sort of mocking way, “so I don’t think he’ll ever notice you. Romantically that is. It’s hard not to notice your loud personality.” Believe it or not, Zelda had a few drinks prior to this conversation, so nobody could really tell if she was sane or not.

  
Revali chose to dismiss the slight insult she threw his way. “I’m working on it, I am. Just watch, I’ll be in his pants by the end of the week.” He muttered, standing up, unsteady on his feet.

  
“Ha, I’d give you a year, at least.” Urbosa laughed.

  
Revali decided that he would make his move, even if that meant shameless flirting. But he wasn’t really in his senses anyway, so what was the worst that could happen. It wouldn’t hurt his pride tomorrow if he couldn’t remember it.

  
He walked over to Link and Sidon gave him a knowing look as he left Link after murmuring a quick goodbye.

  
Sidon, Revali decided, was a good kid.  
Well, he wasn’t really a kid compared to Revali, but that didn’t matter because his mind was intoxicated and his thoughts were by no means valid.

  
“Hey, Link. Linky.” Revali started, immediately regretting his life decisions.

  
“Hey.” Link waved, with flushed cheeks, seemingly unaffected by the horrendous nickname.

  
“Mind if I sit here.” Revali motioned at the seat Sidon left empty.

  
Link nodded, grinning widely at his friend beside him.

  
Oh but Revali would make sure that he was much more than a friend by the end of this.  
It would be an understatement to call Revali simply a ‘bad drunk'. His mood changes were sudden and his personality which he held with pride when he was sober would disappear completely. Tonight was no exception.

  
All of a sudden Revali burst out into tears and dropped his head against a table because he saw the cutest cat and had to have it. Link was just as bad drunk as Revali and nodded saying that he would kill for this puppy he saw yesterday.

  
“Did you just say you wanted a puppy?”

Revali’s head shot up.

  
“Yeah, I want a damn pug but Zelda refuses to keep one in our apartment.” Link cried.

  
“You’re a dog person?!”

  
“No...”

  
Revali narrowed his eyes, just daring Link to continue what he was about to say.

  
“You like cats more than dogs!?”

  
“Who wouldn’t!?”

  
“Me, and pretty much the rest of the world, you werido!”

  
Revali decided that this plan of his was beginning to backfire so he went back to regroup and recollect his ideas.

  
“I’ll be back in a minute, I’m just getting a drink.”

  
Revali practically flew over to the other side of the bar.

  
“He likes dogs and I like cats! How do I make it work?!”

  
“FIND COMMON PET GROUND, IT EXISTS I SWEAR IT DOES!” Mipha shouted. She got a bit, well, let’s say loud when drunk.

  
“Oh my Goddess, you genius!”

  
Meanwhile, back with Link, the blond boy was crying to Sidon about messing up by calling Revali a weirdo and Sidon solemnly rubbed his friend’s back, wiping his single teardrop for the possible loss of Revali. Never mind he was back, and Sidon then slowly moved back into the shadows from whence he came.

  
“Link, do you like birds?”

  
“Yes. I do.”

  
Revali smiled, for perhaps he could make this work again and he slowly sat down next to Link again.

  
“I thought you went to get a drink.”

  
Damn, Linky was on top of things today.

  
“Um, I had it on the way back.”

  
Revali was flushing heavily now.

  
“Hey, you’re red. You might have a fever.” Link muttered as his placed the back of his hand onto Revali’s forehead. “Hm, feels pretty hot to me."

  
Revali, the poor soul, mistook this as Link calling him hot.

  
“You think I’m hot?”

  
“Yeah, I’m practically burning up on seeing you.” Link laughed not expecting Revali to pull him into a rough kiss at all.

  
Revali was even more shocked to find that Link was kissing back, passionately even, as he took the lead.

  
Both were so entranced by each other that they hadn’t even noticed Daruk take a quick picture of them and send it around.

  
“Ew, he actually did it.” Urbosa said, voice laced with disgust.

  
“Ha, they probably won’t even remember this happened tomorrow and they’ll go back to being their dorky selves who can’t find the courage to confess.”

  
Mipha, Daruk and Sidon all nodded.

  
“Hey, let’s not show them this picture until after they hook up, agreed?”

  
“Agreed.”

  
Urbosa had been having far too much fun.

* * *

 

  
When Link and Revali were finally together after an incident at their day job, they were slightly embarrassed by the sight of that picture and it wouldn’t be a lie to say that Revali may have chased Urbosa the shop asking her to “Delete it!” with her replying in kind with a quick “Fuck you!”. Of course, Zelda, ever helpful, replied with “Link already has that covered.” Causing the two males to vow to get new friends.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading
> 
> Feedback is nice
> 
> You're nice
> 
> Aw, how sweet
> 
> I should go sleep


End file.
